Jeans

JEANS:
Somebody came up with that name.  When you see the word, a vision - your vision of jeans springs into view.  I visualize blue denim trousers.  I do own a few pair of gray and/or black jeans.  I do not own Green Jeans.   That was a guy on TV.

Normally, if I plan to dress up in jeans - a concept that is somewhat flawed to start - I will wear the Gray or Black jeans.  To me, blue jeans fail miserably in the dress-up category.  Frankly, Gray & Black (or Green) jeans fail too.  But in my VIEW, in today's society, jeans are loved and respected in the strangest and "wrongest" places.  Must I even mention jeans that are torn or ripped by manufacturer and sold at twice the price?
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Our little Sadie is having stomach problems.  She is emitting a dark brown substance (liquid if you will) instead of well formed projectiles.  In other words, her poop is runny.  At times she has lost control and little brown droplets appear on the floor.  Out comes the mop.  She is not like our boy dogs who want to mark the world.  No self-respecting female dog would want to mark anything with droplets of brown poop.
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We gave her some Pepto-Bismo last night.  They say that a bit of pumpkin out of a can works too. We don't have pumpkin on our shelf right now.  Who keeps pumpkin in the merry month of May?  How does this relate to Jeans?
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When I held her to pump the Pepto down her throat, her bottom caressed the upper left leg of my blue jeans.  A three inch spot appeared.  Poor Sadie; she knows not what she does.
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Now, I have jeans which need immediate washing.  This morning I dug through the closet and came up with 8 pair of blue, gray, and black jeans to wash plus a pair from the wife (of recent Mother's Day fame) and several pair of dark socks.  Some of you won't believe this.  I washed my own jeans.  I put in the soap and pushed the start button.  Of course, Of course, the spouse (of recent....etc.) had to show me which button to push on the washer.  I suppose in my youth, I may have washed my own jeans.  I can't remember when.  My mother and later my wife have always handled this chore for me.  They understand washing machines.
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My first load is in the dryer;  the second load is finishing up in the washer.  Next, I will try to learn how to hang up trousers.  This may be over my pay scale.
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A couple years ago - it may have been 2 or 5 or whatever - I heard (or read or was told by somebody or saw on TV) that the CEO of Levi's said that he never washes his jeans.  Think on that for a bit.  The boss of the company that makes Levi's said --- I don't think I am confused here  ---  he said, "I never wash my jeans."  Surely it wasn't the CEO of Wranglers.  Who would interview the CEO of Wranglers?  Nope.  It had to be Levi's.
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So, here is what we got.  The guy who runs the jeans company never washes his pants.  Of course, he doesn't.  He throws them away and gets another new pair.  Does he even buy his own jeans?  I bet there is an Inspector #8 down on the line who pulls out his size every other day and delivers them to his closet - hung properly.  The Inspector #8 then removes the older (one week maybe) pair and throws them into a "recycle to the poor house" bin.
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I dug on a hole last week down by the lake edge.  The bottom three inches of my work jeans sucked up mud.  Can you imagine the CEO of Levi's digging a hole in his penthouse suite on top of the Blue Levi's High Rise building?  Of course the Levi bldg is blue.  What other color could it be?   Maybe he gets his jeans blemished when he climbs into the back of his Limo.  Wait.  In all fairness, his brake pedal on his Porsche sports car convertible might rub his left leg.  I don't know this gentleman.  I don't know his name or the color of his eyes.  He might be a wonderful feller.   I think his statement was - - - I love the concept.   
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Yep.  Until today, I can say that like the CEO of Levi's I never wash my jeans.
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In the spirit of fairness and openness, I need to report that my middle name is Eugene, oft times shortened to Gene by many, and my #2 daughter (by age) has a middle name of Jeanne.  These facts have had no bearing on the above account.  I do not show favoritism to anyone named or associated with Jeans.  Once had a student named Jean Dupy.  She was really a nice, sweet girl who was quite impish.

Next week:  Wearing Jeans to Church, Biblical or Cool