Humor from the Paper - what there is of it

To cut to the chase, drop down to the blue words.  The black words are just ranting.
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Corsicana Daily Sun - Our newspaper - just received a letter from them.  They are cutting delivery back to 3 days a week Tue, Thurs, Friday  ....  or is it Saturday? Probably T-T-S nor T-T-F.  I suppose there is a cost involved with putting out a paper, and profit must come from somewhere.  
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There is no doubt - I am not a salesman nor do I know the answer to all sale problems - but it seems to me that this paper, instead of cutting days, should figure out why they lose money the other ways.
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Example:  Are they lacking advertisements?  If that is the case, what would I do to make a change.  First thing I would do is to find a hungry / good salesman.  Surely in this day and age, there are salesmen out there who are hungry.  I love the word: "Surely." (you prolly thought I'd say hungry - nope - never love being hungry )  
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On Tuesday in addition to our regular paper, we get a free advertising paper which is nothing but advertisements.  That's it; just advertisements.  We never open it. The paper makes good fodder for my daughter's rabbit cage.
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Back to their problem.  Are they not providing good reading material for the people. Are subscriptions down?  They have a page or two of sports.   One full page of announcements - every paper looks the same.  There is one full page of religious announcements.  The paper is the same.  I read the same features daily and fluff off the remainder of the paper.  What do other papers of this caliber do?  I think there may be a need for change.  Somebody call Obama.
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Every edition has 2, maybe 3 or 4 ramblings from editors and commentators and the like (not to mention the sports page talkers).  Most columns are filled with homespun humor.  Sure they are fun to read, but are they meeting the subscriber's needs?  In today's climate we have all these things like facebook and so forth.  People can get cute stories all day long on the Net.  My wife just showed me a really cute one of a baby elephant trying to act tough.  This stuff is everywhere.
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What's the point.  Newspapers are failing and sinking many places.  They are run by people who don't know what to do to get readership up.  As a retired band director, I attended conventions and workshops - one after another - looking for ways to improve my band's product.   Do newspapers have conventions with topical subjects?  I don't know.
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 Defensive Point.  I write this blog; but, I don't know what to do to get readership up.  If I had more readers, maybe I could find a way to turn it into cash.  Controversy?  More Sex ?  More politics ?   Pictures of my grandgirls ?   Dfirty jokes?  Recipes?
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Our local paper columnist Janet Jacobs had a bit the other day on Stupidity.  I thought it was sorta cute even though I imagine she found it via email or u-tubby.  She did give credit to a couple TV stations.  I hope I am not breaking any copywrite rules by doing this.  If so - send me a cease letter.   I can cease with vigor and style.
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She wrote about this guy in Seattle on a bus listening to music on his phone.  The guy opened his eyes to see a man and a woman holding his phone.  He demanded it back, and they beat him up on the bus  (where's the driver?).  The couple ran off the bus w/ the phone and this "beat-up" feller in hot pursuit.   
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Pause here and ask yourself:  "I was just beat up by these two yokels.  Should I chase them down the street?"   Well, folks, he did.  Apparently he was quite threatening because the dame called the police for help.
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Yes, she called the police.  The police came - found beat-up guys phone on her - arrested stupid babe and her attached bum.   Now, that was stupid.  No doubt in my mind.  But wait, Janet wrote about another story:
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She tells about a 22 year old guy who stole a safe out of a pharmacy in the predawn hours - Swansboro, N. Carolina.  they said he broke in through the drive-through window - tied a rope around the safe and drove off.  It was too heavy to lift into his car, so, naturally, he just drove down the street dragging the safe - 2 miles he went before a cop stopped him.  I betcha the safe wasn't blemished.
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Janet's last stone is just an eye-roller.  A west Texas couple - don't know where - maybe in my hometown of Levelland - kept their 9 kids out of school to  be home schooled.  { My feelings on Home Schooling will wait for another day.  Boo Hiss. } This couple knew that the "Rapture" was coming just around the corner, any day now. Education wasn't needed at this time.  Let's get ready for the Rapture.  The problem was discovered when their 17 yr old daughter ran away from home and tried to enroll in school.  She couldn't tell them what grade she was in.  Call the law.
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That is really quite sad.  Ignorance seems to breed Ignorance - or stupudity.
And I stop for the night.  You guys take care.  Maybe better humor tomorrow.
m3